Sex!

Given my contention of a few posts ago, that the names/words in the 'label list' seem to determine the number of visitors to the blog, and readers of individual posts, it will be interesting to note if there is a significant increase on this occasion!

Anyone who has accessed the blog on the strength of the heading to this post, expecting some salacious snippets of sexual shenanigans, is going to be very disappointed!  However, I hope that you will read on, and even check out some of the previous posts!

Sex, as I was growing up, was a taboo topic.  'Nice' people didn't discuss it; children knew nothing about it.  How things have changed!   On this morning's Today programme, on BBC Radio 4, was the disturbing news that, according to a report by the Office of the Children's Commissioner for England (although it is reckoned that the situation is similar throughout the U.K.), children as young as 12 are carrying out sexual violence against each other!

According to the report, gang rape is not uncommon; almost 40% of the young people who responded to the survey said they knew of cases of youngsters exchanging sex for drugs, alcohol or to pay off a debt; and more than 30% gave examples of girls being used as bait to attract and “set up” male members from rival gangs. 

A separate survey, the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, shows that women have caught up with men in the 'sexual revolution' - and have even overtaken them in the case of same-sex relationships - but they are still the ones who pay the biggest price in terms of sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancies.   Four times as many women now report same-sex experiences with other women compared to 20 years ago. They are also starting to have sex earlier in the lives and are having more sexual partners over their lifetime than a generation ago.  However, 10% claim to have been forced to have sex against their will - which I would have classed as 'rape'!

Sex was designed by Almighty God.  Within the confines of marriage, as He ordained it (i.e. between one man and one woman) it is a good activity, free from guilt or shame.  It is the means of procreating the human race, and the family is still the bedrock of society - even although, in certain parts of the world, we seem to be determined to undermine it!

It was, it could be argued, the 'sexual revolution' of the '60s that brought sex 'into the open'.  Since then, we have witnessed a persistent pushing out of the boundaries.  Homosexuality, once considered to be a crime, was decriminalised, then accepted, and is now, by some, viewed as being the equivalent of heterosexuality!

The World-Wide-Web (Internet) has been, and is, a vehicle for much that is good.  Just last evening, I was commenting to a friend that I find it invaluable for research for the writing of books; the preparation of sermons (no scratching my head for hours trying to remember an appropriate illustration/quotation!); the expansion of my general knowledge.  However, it is also the disseminator of pornographic images such as are blamed in the report on the sexual activity of children.  It is little wonder that children act as they do when such images of violent sexual activity is available to be viewed in their own bedrooms.  It is there, it is claimed, that even young boys are 'learning' that females are there to be used for the boy's own sexual gratification. Parents, too, have abrogated much of the responsibility for the rearing of their children to 'professionals' - who are not with them in the home.

The basic problem, then, is in the mind.  When I started taking an interest in computing, I was taught the acronym GIGO - Garbage in; Garbage out.  If I feed my computer rubbish, that is all that it will regurgitate.  The same is true of that most specialised, and powerful, 'computer' - the human mind.  If I constantly fill my mind with garbage, then garbage is what will result in my words, and in my behaviour.  That is the great wisdom of the words of Paul: "Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Rom 12:2; emphasis added).

Is there an answer?  Of course there is - although, sadly, those who are the 'trend-setters' and the 'elite' of our society are unlikely to espouse it.  Paul, under the inspiration of God the Holy Spirit, also wrote: "...  whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Phil. 4:8).

If more of us were to respond, positively, to such a challenge, what a difference it would make to our personal lives; to the lives of our families; and to the very society in which we live.

Children, pornography, and sex!

So it takes a study by the Office of the Children's Commissioner to inform us that children who watch porn are more likely to engage in 'risky' sex acts!

Do these civil servants not understand the basics of advertising? We tend to want what we see - and manufacturers, and their marketing departments, take full advantage of that. It is no different with children and even sex.

Of course, the answer lies in the accepting, by parents, of responsibility for the safe upbringing of their own children.  Therein lies what I believe to be a major part of the problem.  For at least a couple of generations, and certainly since the teaching of the 'expert', the late Dr Benjamin Spock, we have encouraged our children to be small-sized adults.  "Don't call me Mr Ross - it's Brian!"; "Ask Brian if he will get that for you." (from a parent); "You and I will be best pals!" or "Okay, mate!" (adult to child).  Sorry, folks, but while I would always wish to be friendly towards any child, I am not their "mate", or "pal".  I am an adult - now old enough to be the grandparent of any child who is still at school.

It was this attitude, in my opinion, that led to the lack of respect displayed by so many children towards those deemed to be "in authority" - police officers, teachers, etc.  The number of what are still referred to, euphemistically, as "single-parent" families, has not helped.  That is not to say that no single parent has ever raised a well-mannered family.  There are exceptions to every rule.  Sadly, however, they are the exceptions.

Another problem is the way in which some parents constantly give in to the demands of their children - back to the power of advertising!  Seriously, does a primary school child really need a mobile 'phone - let alone one by which the internet may be accessed without any parental, or any other adult, supervision?

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." writes the inspired author of the book of Proverbs (Prov 22:6) and, again, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die." (Prov 23:13).  Oh, and please note that that latter quotation is most definitely not an excuse for any form of child abuse.  That is a different matter altogether.

Turning to the New Testament, we find Paul writing to the Ephesian believers, "Children , obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  "Honour your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), "that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth." (Eph. 6:1-3).  However, he also provided the other side of the coin: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Eph 6:4).

If I fail to follow the instructions for the use and service of my car, I cannot complain to the manufacturer if it breaks down.  As a society, too many have failed to even read the Maker's Handbook (aka the Bible).  We have no right to complain that society has broken down!

Just a Little Sin

Many parents are hard pressed to explain to their children why some films, music, books, and magazines are not acceptable material for them -- to see, listen to, or read.

One parent came up with an original idea that is hard to refute.

The father listened to all the reasons his children gave for wanting to see a particular PG-13 movie. It had their favourite actors. Everyone else was seeing it. Even church members said it was great. It was only rated PG-13 because of the suggestion of sex -- they don't really show it. The language is pretty good -- the Lord's name is only used in vain three times in the whole movie.

The teens did admit there was a scene where a building and a bunch of people were blown up, but the violence was just the normal stuff. It wasn't anything really bad. Even if there was "just a little" stuff wrong, the special effects were fabulous and the plot was action packed.

However, even with all the justifications the teens made for the film, the father still wouldn't give in. He just said, "No!"

A little later on that evening the father asked his children if they would like some brownies he had baked -- knowing they loved brownies? He said that he'd taken the family's favourite recipe and added "just a little" something extra. The children asked what it was?

The father calmly said that he had added "just a little" dog pooh. However, he quickly assured them, it was "just a little" bit. All the other ingredients were gourmet quality and he had taken great care to bake the brownies at the precise temperature for the exact time. He was sure the brownies would be superb.

Even with their father's assurance that the brownies were of almost perfect quality, the teens would not take any. The father acted surprised. After all, it was "just a little" part that was causing them to reject the brownies.

He said he was certain they would hardly notice "just a little" bit of dog pooh he had put in the brownies. Still the teens held firm, and would not try the brownies.

The father then explained to his children how the film they had wanted to see with "just a little" bit of bad stuff in it was just like the brownies. Satan tries to enter our minds and our lives by deceiving us into believing that "just a little" bit of evil won't matter. The truth is "just a little" bit of of pooh makes the difference between a great treat and something disgusting, which is totally unacceptable.

The father went on to explain that even though the film industry would have us believe most of today's films, with "just a little" bit of bad stuff, are acceptable for adults and children, they are not.

Now, when this father's children want to see something that is of questionable material, he merely asks them if they want some of his special dog pooh brownies? That closes the subject.

Put the film you or your children really want to see to the ultimate test. Would you be comfortable taking Jesus with you?