Too little, and too late.

One of the useful pieces of information that is provided by Blogger is a note of the number of 'visits' to individual posts on a blog. It makes for interesting reading. I am saddened to discover that numbers viewing the series on Books of the Bible are the lowest that I can recall in nearly 1500 posts.

Accordingly, I shall stop, and perhaps just bring a book (or books) in occasionally. However, this doesn't affect my personal Bible reading! At the moment, in my personal devotions, I am reading the Letters of Peter. Yesterday, and this morning, I was reading in what we know as chapter 3, verses 1-7 - a passage that deals with the relationship between a husband and a wife. To help me, I consult a number of commentaries and, in his commentary, Warren Wiersbe shared this information: "One survey revealed that the average husband and wife (I suspect that this was in the USA, but also that the figure would not be vastly different in any of our "civilised" countries!) had thirty-seven minutes a week together in actual communication!" He continues: "Is it any wonder that marriages fall apart after the children grow up and leave home? The husband and wife are left alone - to live with a stranger!" 

Regretfully, the so-called "busy-ness" of life doesn't only affect husbands and wives, but also parents and children. As I read those words of Pastor Wiersbe, I was reminded of another story that I read recently. It concerned a young boy who was failing in one of his school subjects and had to remain, after school, to complete his work (this obviously wasn't in the very recent past!!). Feeling very discouraged, and dreading to tell his parents why he was late, he walked so far into a nearby wooded area that he lost his way. When he did not return home, his parents organised a search. Sadly, it was not until the following morning that his body was found - frozen in the snow. 

Filled with remorse, the heartbroken father admitted that whenever his son had been in trouble, or had come to him for help, he had usually been too busy. All that he could now say was: "If I had spent more time with him, this would not have happened."

The psalmist-king, David, experienced even more regret when he learned of the death of his son, Absalom (II Samuel 18:33). Ignoring Amnon's evil deed with his half-sister, Tamar (Absalom's sister - this is all shared in the video in the previous post!!), the king wasn't close enough to his own family to detect that Absalom was planning to get revenge (II Sam.13). After Absalom had his half-brother murdered (v.28), he lived in a self-imposed exile for three years. When he returned, his father refused to allow his son the privilege of coming into his presence. Finally, when Absalom rebelled, and was killed by one of David's generals, Joab (in spite of David's command that Absalom was not to be harmed! - II Sam.18:5), the sad results of his neglect finally dawned upon the king.

We live at a time when the home, and the family, are being threatened on every side. Those of us who are parents - and even grandparents - must meet the emotional and spiritual needs of our children by giving them our personal love and guidance. I think of one situation, known to me, in which a young person is suffering simply because, in my opinion, there has been a lack of parental responsibility. It is only by taking a genuine interest in the lives of our children that we will avoid the tragedy of giving too little, too late!

Sadly (and we see this particularly at Christmas, and when a birthday is being celebrated) too many parents are willing to give their children everything - except themselves!

Male 'wives', female 'husbands'

As the situation currently stands, the language is simple.  I happen to be a man; I am married to a woman.  This means - as it has always meant - that I am a husband, and the woman to whom I am married is a wife.

However, if the attempts to redefine marriage, in both Westminster and Holyrood, were to be successful, then that simplicity would disappear.  In the latest Marriage Minutes, Dr Sharon James tries to explain - it isn't easy!

Marriage - still an honourable institution!

This morning's Today programme, on Radio 4, had an interesting item on marriage. The couple who were "interviewed" have been together for an amazing seventy years (makes my wife's and my forthcoming Ruby Wedding Anniversary seem quite ordinary!). However, getting the 'secret' of such a long marriage out of the Pressmans, was a task beyond even an experienced radio journalist!

For me, the basis of a solid marriage is not only the relationship that the couple have with each other, but the relationship that they have with God. Certainly, in a Christian marriage, the couple enter in to a covenant relationship. This means that God is at the centre; He is the One Who holds the marriage together, even when there are difficulties.

However, a lasting marriage is also hard work. I used to give a book to couples I had married. It was entitled After the Wedding comes the Marriage - an indication that all the glamour of the wedding day may be exactly that; but that marriage isn't all special clothes, a reception, a cake, and a holiday/honeymoon. There is, more for some couples than for others, a 'getting used to each other' phase (I'm working on the old-fashioned, but Christian, basis that the couple haven't been 'living together' for a period prior to the wedding!). Especially for those who have already left the parental home, there is the adjustment of having to share - everything from the bathroom to the television remote control. We may discover habits, and personality quirks that we hadn't noticed even throughout a lengthy period of engagement.

My late dad used to tell me that the first seven years of a marriage were the difficult ones. After that, he would say, you discover that you've already argued over anything worth arguing about - so you just live in peace! I reckon that there was more than a little truth in that piece of 'homespun philosophy'!

However, for the couple who share a living faith in the Lord Jesus, there is that additional 'glue' that helps to see them through the early problems. There will be a clear understanding of the different roles within a marriage - not that one person is 'better', or 'more important' than the other; but that each has his/her complementary part to play. A Christian couple will be aware of the counsel provided through the writings of Paul: "... submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the Head of the church. He is the Saviour of His body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to Himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of His body.

As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Eph 5:21-33; NLT)

A friend of mine used to say that a husband who treated his wife in the way that Paul exhorts, would find that she is more than willing to submit to his headship! Maybe that's the real secret of a long and happy marriage!